Welcome. Just wanted to keep writing stuff—football-related or not—and this one happens to be not.
There’s a lot of absolute fucking bullshit YouTubers these days churn out. I often just ignore it for my own sake, but this one by OckTV, who do their best to make it look like CockTV, popped up on my Facebook feed, and I found it particularly egregious. Here’s a link:
If you’re driving or something and can’t watch the video, I’ll give you a full synopsis here. So there is a girl with a blurred face* sitting in a park in New York City with her laptop, just doing her thing. Along with some EPIC music, Guy 1 approaches the girl and says something along the lines of “I know you don’t know me, but your boyfriend forgot his phone in my class, so here it is,” to which of course she replies, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” He laughs and walks away. So far, nothing reprehensible.
“10 MINUTES LATER!!!!!”
Guy 2, AKA Creepy Jersey Shore man with low-cut polo, struts up to the girl with alarmingly high confidence, using opening line “Hey, how you doin’, schweetheart?”—comfortably the most cringeworthy thing I’ve seen in 2016 so far, and I saw Hillary do the dab. He then proceeds to call her cute, introduce himself, lie about his similar education and then use the best line ever: “Maybe I could get your number cuz we have some compatibility cuz we’re studying the same thing. We could like study later alone together and…get the job done.” Please note there’s a very awkward pause where that ellipsis is, in which he’s literally rubbing his hands together.
Right after that sentence, she rudely cuts him off saying she has a boyfriend, WHICH IS A LIE BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T RIGHT BEFORE! THEY EVEN GOT HER ON CAMERA!! THIS IS INSANE!!!! He then CATCHES HER IN THE LIE RED-HANDED.
“What’s his name?” “Does it even matter?” He then calls her out on the lie (LIKE A BOSS) and says stuff like, “I’m fucking sick of this shit,” “You’ll never have a boyfriend,” “You’re on camera, too. Fuck outta here” and more hilarious, classic lines.
The girl just goes back to reading her book, as Guy 2 walks away (NAILED IT) to some FootyVines dubstep.
I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that when a creepy-as-fuck guy walks up to you, invades your space in the middle of a park while you’re trying to study, films you without your consent, demands personal information, then asks to study alone with you after three sentences of suspicious exposition, instead of politely lying to spare his feelings, give the man the digits to which he’s entitled.
Furthermore, in terms of getting a guy out of your hair, saying you have a boyfriend is probably a surefire way of getting him to back off—as long as you’re not part of the plot of an aids-ridden YouTube video—as guys tend to respect their fellow br0s more than they respect girls as their own entities. Not only is lying letting him off easy, then, but it’s also safer because it’s likelier the guy will flip a shit if you say you’re not interested than if you say you’ve got a manfriend with whom you share exclusive love.
This video is backwards in so many ways, and it’s only one example of the absolute bullshit from “pranksters!!!” on YouTube these days. I’d imagine there are a lot of videos way worse than this, which is worrying.
*her face is not actually blurred; it’s just the effect from the video